Addiction

I remember…

Ingesting you feverishly

Feeling you reach down into my soul

Yanking and pulling

Expanding and contracting

Until I became

Free

From worry

Oblivious

to suffering

High

From my own delusions

I remember…

Sunny afternoons that felt like dark nights

Scratching and clawing

Just for a little more of you

Begging God to

“Just give me one more chance

This is my last time. I promise”

But, it never is.

I remember…

Driving by, laughing and pointing at the future me

Locking the door as life’s lonely prisoner begs me for help

Looking in disgust as I wonder how this fool lost his dignity

I know now

And am running from that existence

Hardship has taught me more than a book or lecture ever could

I am not going to say that I won’t be back

We both know

I probably will

But just in case I don’t

I will always remember you.

-A.D. Wright

The Perfect Woman

Understands my motives, so she can forgive my actions

Is dependent on me for all of her shortcomings and allows me to be dependent on her for all of mine

Is as eager to hear about my day as she is to tell me about hers

Understands her issues as well as mine and is constantly working to improve both

Can cook my three favorite meals and has a at least one dish that she makes better than anyone else

Can tell me when I’m wrong in a way that I can understand

Shares my joy and passions

Only spends “our” money on things for us

Would live in a cardboard box as long as it was with me

Is an intellectual because without good conversation there is no relationship

Is always open and honest because without trust there is no relationship

Can attract my attention without being annoying

Curses because I find that sexy

Stays fit because she knows that lust is just as real as love

Is in tune with her sexuality and mine

Occasionally calls me around lunchtime to say the sexiest and nastiest things I’ve ever heard because she knows I can get through any day knowing that she is at home waiting for me

Reads and critiques my blog because she knows and I crave feedback and am obsessed with self improvements.

-A.D. Wright

Noble Truth

2 weeks notice

You are my greatest weakness.  I have an uncanny attraction for you that I’ve never been able to overcome.  I see in you the potential of perfection: tall, statuesque, intelligent, vulnerable, strong, and kind with a hint of rage.  You are the complex enigma that would take my mind a lifetime to unravel and I love it.  I love you.  However, what my eyes see in you is a reflection of my own selfish desires.  I lust after your body and mind as a mission to be accomplished.  I am open with you to prove to myself that I am not afraid to be open, but I am open only to you because in actuality I am only willing to be afraid of one person.  I have allowed you to see me in a way that few others have and when you rejected me all those times, feelings of past rejections rushed from their hidden places to the forefront of my memory.  With the turn of a phrase and the flicker of an eye lash you can turn despair into ecstasy and vice versa.  I have given you a gift that you did not want nor ask for. I have blamed you for neglecting and misusing a gift that I doubt you even knew you possessed.  We never miss anything until it is gone and it is gone.  Thank you for your time and consider this my 2 weeks notice.

-A.D. Wright

The End of the World

Burn

Like a moth flying perilously into the fires of hell

I am drawn to her.

Songs of love and heartbreak battle for supremacy in my brain.

My heart cries out

No!

Please leave that crazy bitch alone!

Make it stop!

…Please!

I ask the emptiness,

“Why are ups often followed by downs?”

I am answered.

“They say love conquers all…

Better judgment,

Common sense,

Good advice from those who wish you well,

And the prayers of former lovers who suffered because of you, as you now suffer from her

All.”

Love:

Has conquered my sanity

Slain my well being

Pillaged my sense of self

And as I lay here

Awake

with the wind building in my chest

And the ocean threatening to flood my eyes

I welcome the storm

Because without this pain

or this love

or that rain

There is no life.

I love you

-A.D. Wright