[Decisions] What’s a mother to do?

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4 Responses

  1. CeezAll That says:

    This situtation has too many variables for me to assert a strong opinion. Is the private school very good or are the public schools very bad?

    I find that a private school setting can be a disservice to some children. Smaller class sizes and more individual attention can improve the average child’s performance in either setting and are more often available in private schools. I think some parents don’t consider that this much attention is not readily available when their children progress to college and on into their careers. Beyond that, I received a great education in public schools, both in urban and suburban settings. My nephew attended a private school and completed first grade there. My sister was pleased with his progress until she transferred him to public school and found that he could not perform at the level of the students there. He had to be held back a year to catch up. My advice would be to research the public schools in that area to determine whether or not moving into a smaller home is appropriate. Public schools are not necessarilty bad.

  2. akatito says:

    The Public School system in her area is on the decline and the private school that the kids are in is one of the best in the country.

  3. Jay says:

    In my opinion obtaining a better education far outweighs the negative effects your friend’s children may experience, regardless of the sacrifice she must make. Of course I don’t agree that it is effective to have unsatisfied adults with commitment issues. However, that is not nearly as bad as having an adult who is not cognizant, capable, and competitive into today’s unforgiving world.

    I can use my own upbringing as an example. I grew up in a fairly decent learning environment where I was given all of the resources I needed. My cousin on the other hand was in a system that was failing miserably. My mom urged his father (her brother) to allow him to come stay with us in order to be in a better learning environment. My uncle was so concerned about the effects of him not being with his parents that he failed to think about the long-term effects. He made the decision that he would stay with his parents during his formative years and then move in with us when he was nearly an adult. As a result my cousin is very close to his family (parents), but lacks some of the education that could make him very competitive.

    With either decision it is a Catch 22. If you do one thing you may lose something in this area. If you do another thing you may lose in that area. At the end of the day you just have to weight the opportunity costs.

  4. Bird says:

    I would choose to sell my home and maintain my child’s education. Stability has very little to do with one’s physical environment. If it did and I kept my home and enrolled my child in the local public school…..would that not contribute to instability? Stability is based on the child’s secure attachment to the parent or caregiver, regardless of environment. It is founded in a trusting relationship and bond between parent and child.

    Ask your friend that has commitment and security issues to reflect on the relationship she has with her parents, both now and as a child. The issues that you listed are the result of human interaction, not a physical environment.

    The main issue should be the children’s education. It sounds like the mother has her children’s best interests in mind. Regardless of the decision, she needs to ensure that she remains a loving and supportive parent that is active in their lives. We now live in an age where education is a need, not a want. If she is able to improve or maintain the quality of her children’s education, then why not move to an apartment? Would you really sacrifice your child’s future, for home ownership?

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