Fat, broke, lonely, and stupid


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Billions of dollars are spent each year on products and services promising to make you fit, rich, loved and/or smart. Most of these products and services are merely schemes to make you appear “better” but do not even attempt to make you well. The truth is… all of the books, pills, blenders, instructional videos, online courses, and dating websites in the world are useless unless you change your attitude and actions.

Since I moved to Washington DC, I’ve heard the term “Low Hanging Fruit” quite often. The term means a course of action that can be undertaken quickly and easily. Every time I hear it, I cringe. It’s feels so counter-intuitive. The first time I heard it, I asked the group, “Why don’t we shoot for the stars? If we miss, at least we can land on the moon.” They didn’t appreciate my paraphrased Confucius quote. The group choose the course of action that took the the least effort and got the bosses off of our back. Needless to say, we never actually solved the problem, but it seems like we tried.

Most people have learned to be “results oriented.” They believe if you cannot see it, hear it, or touch it; it doesn’t exist. This mentality leads them to look for quick fixes in all aspects of their life (relationships, health, career, etc). Instead of filling the voids in their life which are creating the symptoms of unhappiness, they choose to either patch it up temporarily or ignore it all together, letting these voids fester into something deeper and more difficult to fix.

An alternate way of thinking is to “Focus on excellence and ignore success” – Deepak Chopra

In this method, we use the tools available in the aforementioned schemes to reach the higher goal of self-actualization — the filler of all voids. The emptiness we feel is actually our intuition urging us to work towards an abundant life. The definition of abundance is overflowing fullness. Achieving this goal requires a priority adjustment. We have to stop filling our lives with the superficial benchmarks of success and start reaching for the profound depths of excellence.

We all have different holes, from different causes, which manifests itself in different ways. Some holes, we can fix ourselves with a little knowledge and proper technique. Others, may take the assistance of a friend or a professional. In any case, excel to the stars. If you miss, take joy in reaching the moon.

2 Replies to “Fat, broke, lonely, and stupid”

  1. Be Moore says:

    Good stuff Tito.
    I agree, addressing our major wounds with a triage mindset is a never ending catastrophe. Unfortunately this IS the lot of the poor. The underprivileged, under educated step-children of society need to be invested in, not on. How can we affect this change in our individual homes?

  2. Jaina says:

    You make some valid points in this article, but reaching towards excellence in a society that demands tangible success is easier said than done. The group situation you experienced where the easiest solution was the desired choice is inevitable. You will always be pulled between what the world ask of you and what you desire, unless you are completely independent of society. We can still reach for excellence, but in the world we live in a little compromise is the only way to find balance.

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