Her finger tangos with her curly tangles as she ponders.
She ignores the signs of absolution as she wanders
Alone amongst the lonely.
She bumps into her indoctrination.
He was her one and only
Until salvation clashed with her imagination.

The whisper of silence tells her all.
In stillness she’s free to fall
In the abyss of her own thoughts.
Finally she finds her guide
Hiding beyond her closed eyes.
He tells her this universal truth,
“I am the Light of the World and so are you.”

In order to grow, you have to experience everything, but in moderation. -Compay Segundo

Imagine a world where everyone lived in moderation – No hording of wealth and resources from the 1%, and no such thing as the “working poor.” This utopia may never exist but by living moderately, we can achieve an utopian life.

The basic principle of living moderately is to live by two rules:

Rule #1 Do not indulge

Rule #2 Do not deny

Rule 1: Indulgence leads to addiction and suffering

Have you ever heard of retail therapy? In short, it’s buying unnecessary things to feel better. The shopper is literally getting high off of indulging.

Here’s the scenario: A young woman has always been told she’s pretty, so decides to try modeling. Her auditions result in some yes’s but mostly no’s. The ups and downs of such a fickle, superficial, and competitive industry causes her to be stressed and nearly depressed.

After being passed over for a gig that she really wanted, she decides to do some “retail therapy. She has a blast. All of the salespeople compliment her in her new outfits, and serve her with a smile. She walks out of each store in a blissful euphoria.

Eventually she gets the bill for her shopping extravaganza, and realizes that she cannot sustain this bliss. While in search for her next high, she stumbles upon cocaine. She tries it; and is higher than she’s ever been, for longer, and for comparatively cheaper than her Christian Louboutin shoes.

Soon after becoming a fan of cocaine, she runs into the same problem that she had with shopping. She wants to be higher, for longer, and cheaper. So, she does crack, and eventually becomes the Crackhead Street-Walker.

The scenario is an extreme case but done so to prove a simple point. The more we indulge, the less satisfying the indulgence becomes. This is true with all hedonistic behaviors.

Rule 2: Denial cause depravity

Rule 2 is by far the most interesting of the two because the denier becomes the indulger.

Here’s the scenario: A teenager has an impulse which causes him shame and guilt. He doesn’t know how to channel this energy, and can’t ask anyone because he’s embarrassed. He is told that Jesus is the way to salvation, and he desperately wants to be saved.

So, he indulges in religion, to help him deny his impulse. For a while it works, but eventually his religious addiction goes through the cycle of all addiction, and is no longer strong enough to balance the fulcrum weighed down by the now massive and festering impulse that has been slowly building over the years.

Sadly and ironically, his new indulgence becomes the shameful impulse that he has been running from for most of his life. Again he re-enters into the cycle of addiction, and eventually becomes the Creepy Catholic Priest.

Using denial to avoid problems and/or indulgence to fill voids masks the symptoms of the deeper issue, but does little to cure it. We must first find the root cause of our behaviors through meditative self-reflection or real therapy with an expert, then work diligently to eradicate it completely.

It’s not going to be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is.

Since I moved to Washington DC, I’ve heard the term “Low Hanging Fruit” quite often. The term means a course of action that can be undertaken quickly and easily. Every time I hear it, I cringe. It’s feels so counter-intuitive. The first time I heard it, I asked the group, “Why don’t we shoot for the stars? If we miss, at least we can land on the moon.” They didn’t appreciate my paraphrased Confucius quote. The group choose the course of action that took the the least effort and got the bosses off of our back. Needless to say, we never actually solved the problem, but it seems like we tried.

Most people have learned to be “results oriented.” They believe if you cannot see it, hear it, or touch it; it doesn’t exist. This mentality leads them to look for quick fixes in all aspects of their life (relationships, health, career, etc). Instead of filling the voids in their life which are creating the symptoms of unhappiness, they choose to either patch it up temporarily or ignore it all together, letting these voids fester into something deeper and more difficult to fix.

An alternate way of thinking is to “Focus on excellence and ignore success” – Deepak Chopra

In this method, we use the tools available in the aforementioned schemes to reach the higher goal of self-actualization — the filler of all voids. The emptiness we feel is actually our intuition urging us to work towards an abundant life. The definition of abundance is overflowing fullness. Achieving this goal requires a priority adjustment. We have to stop filling our lives with the superficial benchmarks of success and start reaching for the profound depths of excellence.

We all have different holes, from different causes, which manifests itself in different ways. Some holes, we can fix ourselves with a little knowledge and proper technique. Others, may take the assistance of a friend or a professional. In any case, excel to the stars. If you miss, take joy in reaching the moon.

Recently I saw an ad for ChristianMingle.com with the slogan “Find God’s Match for You.” My first reaction was a tinge of outrage for this seemingly unethical and immoral marketing ploy. However, their possible blasphemy lead to a question: Why don’t we search for our “true” religion in the same way we search for our “true” love? Most of us have found our current religion in the same archaic way that was used to find a mate; Mom and dad arranged it.

The Arranged Religion

An arranged marriage is a practice in which someone other than the couple getting married makes the selection of the persons to be wed, meanwhile curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. The purpose of the arranged marriage was to ensure the generational success of the family and create harmony by limiting choice and free will. *Source

As any dissenter knows, disagreeing with the norms in society and your own household causes animosity amongst peers and loved ones. I liken it to people who come from “traditional” families and decide to date outside their class, race, or religion. Many people, especially those who have a deeply hidden uncertainty about their faith, tend to adopt a “with us or against us” mentality.

With all of those outer pressures, it seems like the path of least resistance is conforming and complying with the wishes and beliefs of others. Eventually we accept, adopt, and perpetuate the cycle.

eHarmony for Religion

The extremely popular eHarmony.com and Match.com have dwindled the chaos of dating down to a “science” based on personality dimensions. This science can be applied to many aspects of life especially choosing a compatible religion.

For a brief overview of the 4 major religions and how they relate to certain personality types check out: Which Religion is Right for You?

In March 2010, I moved to Washington D.C.. In my mind it was going to be a fresh start in a new “movers and shakers” city, which was closer to my long-time friends and family. In my last year in the ATL, I said frequently and with disdain, “I’ve outgrown this place!” Well, it seems I was somewhat mistaken. Actually, I outgrew the the Atlanta version of me.

I didn’t create this person knowingly. It just happened “naturally” as I adopted and adapted. The next thing I knew, I was in a job I didn’t much care for and around people I with whom I couldn’t identify. I felt like I was in the Matrix. My only outlet was writing. And i wrote often.

Since then, I’ve been in a bit of a transition mode. A new job, different friends, and a new city to explore has created a different adopted and adapted me. Yet, I still feel the much the same as when I was in Atlanta. So I asked myself, “Do you need a fresh start or do you need to find the “real” you?” My answer was the latter.

I started reading Eastern religious and philosophical texts along with doing some meditation and self-reflection. Many of the scholars and Holy men of Ancient times urged us to realize the illusionary nature of reality. I had no clue what that meant until recently. I simply asked myself, “why?” over and over to fully understand something I did habitually and/or believed. Here’s an example:

Q: Why do I need a “good” job?
A: To make a lot of money.
Q: Why do I need a lot of money?
A: To live comfortably and provide for a future family.
Q: Why do you need “a lot of money” to do that?
A: Because things cost money and I’m going to need things.
Q: Why do you need these things?
A: To survive.

Do I really need the stress of a “good job” if it’s only leading to survival? Are the physical and mental stresses of our lives leading to benefit or detriment?

This line of a questioning lead to the real question. If I wasn’t surviving, what would I want to do? And how can I survive doing it?

I finally understood the reason why monks often leave their family, friends and fortunes to live a life a poverty in a cave. Our materialistic artificial reality clouds our judgment and understanding of who we really are. I can’t imagine that anyone really wants to be in a cubicle, pressing buttons, staring at a screen, and breathing in recycled air for the rest of their life. I do it because I believed that this what I was “supposed” to do.

Supposed – Assume that something is the case on the basis of evidence or probability but without proof or certain knowledge.

Maybe we’re supposed to be happy, healthy and well…