If you ask me, I’m ready
A good relationship is derived from a complex formula of personality, attraction and timing. Attractiveness and compatibility are solely based on your personal preferences. Some women adore a man with a sense of humor while other women prefer a serious man and would see a comical man as “corny.” Similarly, one man might see a woman as too skinny while another man might view that same woman as too fat. People who claim to have no preference usually haven’t taken the time to analyze themselves well enough to know and articulate what they want, which brings me to the main factor… Timing.
A common excuse used by men who are not ready to commit is, “I’m not at a level in my career… blah, blah, blah.” And for women, the popular excuse is, “I just got out of a relationship… blah, blah, blah.” Both self-centered excuses leaves the significant other feeling like their time and energy has been wasted.
Why do we lie to ourselves and others about our intentions in a relationship??? Because, the truth usually won’t get you what you want.
Ladies, how would you respond if a man told you the following on the first date? “At the moment, I am financially unstable and feeling inadequate since I cannot protect and provide for you or a future family. I am however, in the sexual prime of my life and do enjoy having a date in social settings. So, would you care to have casual sex with me and accompany me to social affairs while I sort things out mentally and financially with the known possibly that I may leave you after I become the man I am expected to be?”
Guys how would you respond if a woman told you the following on the first date? “I am an immature woman who has been lying to herself about being a ‘Grown ass Woman’ since I was 14 years old. As a result, I’ve never taken the time to understand the motives behind my actions nor map out what things are truly important to me. I tend to date men who are absolutely terrible for me and my self-esteem, which has caused me to be somewhat emotionally and psychologically damaged. Would you like to provide me with the love, physical affection and support I need, while I constantly reject you and eventually leave you for a man who will cheat on me but allow me to begin the cycle over again?”
Daters, why are you entering into a relationship if you are unwilling and/or unprepared to let it progress organically? The opportunity to find some one who you can love and cherish forever may not be infinite. Every person you date will not be “the one for you” but if “the one” comes along you better be ready.