Inside the mind of a celibate man
Jamal’s entire teenage and adult life has been dedicated to attracting women. Everything he can ever remembering doing has had that secret motive behind it. One day Jamal decides to do something he’s never done before… go 45 days without sex of any kind, including masturbation. Jamal learned many things about himself and women while on this difficult journey. Could you go 45 days without any sexual stimulation of any kind?
Lesson 1: Life sucks without sex. The first 2 weeks were terrible. He was easily agitated and overly aggressive. He tried to fill the void with working out but it was like a crackhead trying to ease withdrawal by smoking a cigarette. It just wasn’t enough. A flippant comment by a co-worker would enrage him. Monotonous tasks became overwhelming because sexual thoughts invaded his brain constantly. His dreams filled with sexual imagery awakened him to the nightmare of another sexless day. It was hell.
Lesson 2: Appreciation for women. Jamal begin to notice some changes in his perceptions. He would walk into an empty room and smell the linger of a woman’s perfume. If a woman’s soft hands so much as grazed his skin, he would shiver with delight. Without sex as a motive, he began to actually listen to what is former female concubines had to say, but with mixed results. He realized some of his sexual conquest really were not interesting outside of a sexually relationship. Also to the contrary, he learned that some of the women who he objectified were actually quite amazing human beings with wonderful stories and deep insight. Moreover, he found that somehow the ones in which he could have a conversation with became more physically attractive to him.
Lesson 3: Don’t believe the hype. Jamal always believed that in the game of sexually relations a man’s position is offense and woman’s defense. He had been the aggressor, the manipulator, the conqueror. He had learned how to persevere through countless rejections. He knew and respected that a woman has a right to say, “No” and to change her mind, regardless of how annoying it was for him. He sometimes felt like the mean lion attacking the poor defenseless gazelle. He soon found out that the gazelles, who run so swiftly away, actually enjoy being hunted.
Jamal found a secret…. nothing turns a woman on more than a man not trying to have sex with her. Something inside of his (now platonic) female friends snapped when he didn’t make sexual advances, especially the ones who he enjoyed talking to. They would rub his leg and ask him questions that he previously had only heard in porn. “So if I took off all my clothes and jumped on your dick, would you stop me?” Rejecting them only ignited their lust. As if by conspiracy, the beautiful women he randomly met were extremely flirtatious. The hunter became the hunted… and he liked it.
Lesson 4: Sex is the greatest gift. On the last night of his sexual-fast, a former sex partner turned platonic friend invited herself over. He was hesitant to accept the invitation because by this point he was weak and open for temptation. She assured him that she wouldn’t ruin his accomplishment. He accepted. They talked, watched a movie, then fell asleep. He awoke to find her staring at him with a murderers intent in her eyes. She pounced on him, kissing, grinding, and caressing with no regard for his morning breath. Like two eager teenagers, they went at it, round after round, all morning. Dehydrated and completely satisfied he thought to himself, “I must have been crazy to give up sex. I’m never doing that again!”
Could you go/have you gone 45 days without any sexually stimulation, including masturbation? Do you think there is a misconception of each gender’s attitude about sex?