Why men cheat
For the purposes of this blog, let’s liken cheating to the dormant genetic disease Eczema. Eczema is a slight defect in the immune system which when triggered by stress, irritants, or change in environment causes an insatiably itchy rash. As most people mature, their eczema diminishes and is less effected by triggers. Cheating is a defect in one’s morality which when triggered by stress, irritants, or changes in environment causes insatiable self-centeredness.
Once a cheater… always a cheater.
Unfortunately, some people are just dishonest, egotistical and disloyal and they always will be. Most people like to “see the good in others.” Cheaters know this and use it to their advantage. They will say and do whatever they need to in order to get whatever they want… always. If you ignore someones flaws and are tolerant and understanding. You are being ignorant. If you suspect him of cheating, you don’t need to follow him around and rummage through his belongings like the lady in “Inside the mind of a stalker” because if you’re wrong… You just killed a perfectly good relationship. All you need to do is observe him in any situation where being moral will not give him his desired result. Whatever he does to them, he’ll do to you?
Self-centeredness begets more self-centeredness.
Nothing is more pitiful than a married man, in a strip club, on a weekday, in the middle of the afternoon. These men have passed their breaking point and are on their downward spiral. For some reason or another, they are unable, unwilling, or uninterested in having enjoyable sex with their wives. You might want to ask yourself or one of your blunt friends… Am I irritating and/or self-centered? In this scenario, ignoring and tolerating has turned an otherwise good person into a passive-aggressive cheater. He loves his mate but feel distant from her. The affection in their relation has been replaced with annoyance. He feels responsible to his households but dreads coming home. He is cheating to maintain his sanity. It’s still wrong, cowardice, and self-centered but understandable. With every no, not in the mood, and I don’t feel like it; his mate has added distance in his relationship.
“A man is only as faithful as his options.” -Chris Rock
This concept is best illustrated in story form… When you met Eric, he was a bit of a nerd but nice and sort of funny. He didn’t dress very well, his finger nails were a little dirty, and he needed a haircut. After hesitantly talking to him then dating, you grew to love his personality and had a brilliant idea. I can make him my project. Like a 4 year old with a Ken doll, you transformed him from a nice nerd to super sexy perfect man. You taught him about fashion, hygiene, and how to maintain overall attractiveness. What you forgot to teach him was… how to say, “no.” Men are by nature, the chasers. They get rejected. They have no knowledge nor training on how to reject… And as we all know, the more beautiful and/or aggressive the woman, the more difficult she is to reject. When Eric was a dweeb, you were his best option. Now that he has the looks and the personality, his options have changed. You choose to upgrade him through customization, he choose to get a newer, sexier model with more features. He wasn’t good enough for you how he was, now you aren’t good enough for him how you are. All’s fair that ends fair.
How do you cure Cheating?
Cheating like eczema is incurable but it can be prevented through awareness.
Maturity. Some people mature out of eczema just like some men mature out of the self-centered motive to cheat. Please remember… Old does not mean mature. Some 16 year old’s are more mature than some 60 year old’s. Maturity can be observed through behavior and communication, not by the amount of wrinkles, gray hairs, or achievements.
Avoidance. You can’t stop anyone from doing anything, but you can avoid putting them in certain situations. It’s a matter of knowing the difference between a straying man and one that was driven away. Certain men will cheat regardless of your efforts and others will in desperation. Learn to avoid becoming involved with the former and creating the latter. Not all men cheat. So if you find one that doesn’t, please appreciate him.
Have you ever been the victim of cheating? Do you think that you could have avoided it or was it completely out of your control? Have you ever cheated? If so, why?